Mindset

How I stopped bad self-talk

Have you ever been in a situation where you are venting to a friend about a family member and you’re really going for it? And the person you are venting to joins in and says something about your family and all of a sudden it’s not ok?

“I can talk about my family like that because they’re mine, you can’t say anything!”

Maybe it’s just me – but a similar scenario developed when I was working in my last job in hospitality. 

I am my biggest critic, I always have been. Throughout my teenage years I developed a ‘you’re shit’ voice in my head. The ‘you’re shit’ voice has got in my way more times than I care to admit but it wasn’t until my employer started to tell me that I was shit (not in so many words but I’ll get to that) that I realised how damaging it was. 

You see, I can say I am shit all I want – you however, CANNOT. 

Throughout my employment, I was challenged and accused of being a negative person which is something I would never describe myself as. I was in a rat race, trying to prove myself and up against my own destructive self-talk; so when I began receiving ‘you’re shit’ talk from my managers on top of my own narrative, I realised something. 

What blew me away is that I know I would never let anyone tell me I am negative or use any other adjective to describe me that I didn’t agree with. 

So WHY ON EARTH had I been telling myself I was shit all this time!

Mind blown, it was at that point I decided to banish the low self-worth and as a switch had flicked in my mind I became unstoppable. Throughout this time I had some really low points – that I will now refer to as learning points – but at the time they were just shit.  

It was at this time I really realised, cliche as it sounds, I had to be my own best mate, and put myself first. 

I think therefore I am. Last year I thought I was shit and shit things happened. 

This year, good shit is happening. 

Beth Portland About Author

Hello! I’m Beth! My role with So Lets Talk materialised from a conversation with Paddy - a few days into the announcement of the closure of business due to Covid-19. I was fizzing with ideas and enough passion to sink a ship, but no outlet and a world that had just gone into lockdown. I had made the choice to leave hospitality and pursue a new career in fitness, specifically focusing on movement patterns and repetitive strain in the hospitality industry. I have a strong sports background having played basketball (to a pretty high standard once upon a time!) and have always viewed the hours I have sweated out in hospitality as a sport, so made perfect sense to combine the two passions I have. My hospitality story is similar to the masses I imagine; a lot of hard work, a lot of wine, a lot of stress and a lot of friends made in the process. I have been lucky enough to work with some fantastic people in my experience in hospitality but have always been boggled by how we do it? Us hospitality folk - the elite. The superhumans of the working world (if you ask me). We work longer hours, for less money, under more stress, and look f’ing cool when we do it. But behind the scenes when we need to take the edge off to keep our customers smiling, we have become regulars in disregarding ourselves and our emotions. Enter - So Lets Talk - the platform we all knew we needed.

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