Have you ever been in a situation where you are venting to a friend about a family member and you’re really going for it? And the person you are venting to joins in and says something about your family and all of a sudden it’s not ok?
“I can talk about my family like that because they’re mine, you can’t say anything!”
Maybe it’s just me – but a similar scenario developed when I was working in my last job in hospitality.
I am my biggest critic, I always have been. Throughout my teenage years I developed a ‘you’re shit’ voice in my head. The ‘you’re shit’ voice has got in my way more times than I care to admit but it wasn’t until my employer started to tell me that I was shit (not in so many words but I’ll get to that) that I realised how damaging it was.
You see, I can say I am shit all I want – you however, CANNOT.
Throughout my employment, I was challenged and accused of being a negative person which is something I would never describe myself as. I was in a rat race, trying to prove myself and up against my own destructive self-talk; so when I began receiving ‘you’re shit’ talk from my managers on top of my own narrative, I realised something.
What blew me away is that I know I would never let anyone tell me I am negative or use any other adjective to describe me that I didn’t agree with.
So WHY ON EARTH had I been telling myself I was shit all this time!
Mind blown, it was at that point I decided to banish the low self-worth and as a switch had flicked in my mind I became unstoppable. Throughout this time I had some really low points – that I will now refer to as learning points – but at the time they were just shit.
It was at this time I really realised, cliche as it sounds, I had to be my own best mate, and put myself first.
I think therefore I am. Last year I thought I was shit and shit things happened.
This year, good shit is happening.